One of my very first gay experiences was an older man coming onto me in a gay bar and basically masturbating over me and then just leaving. Sadly, this didn’t really improve when I started to go into gay bars and meet real people. In my defense, my only understanding of what an older gay man was at the time was one who sent illicit pictures and asked for sexual acts that repulsed me. I thought at the time that being older and gay would inevitably be looked down upon.Īt 16 years old, I said to one of my friends, ‘I love being gay, but when I get older I think I will settle down with a woman as I never want to be like that.’ I look back in horror at that statement. I was concerned that they were going to be just like the people I’d seen online. It turned me off of interacting with a lot of guys who were that little bit older.
I have received some of the weirdest and concerning messages from men who were 40+ years older than me. I’ve been on apps and websites a lot since coming out and I always seem to get attention from older men. I remember the reason I initially came out was to find someone and have that elusive romantic relationship. I’ve been at the receiving end of a creepy message from an older guy but at the same time I’ve felt anger towards a community that seems to have forgotten what Pride was originally all about. I’ve been an out gay man since I was 14 (I’m now 26), and I’ve experienced both of these attitudes. Or appearing bitter and deriding younger people who don’t’ understand the history of what people went through just a few decades ago. It’s a supposedly comical slant on the fact there is widespread discrimination against older people in the gay community.Īt the same time, there has been criticism of the older LGBTQI+ community overstepping boundaries when it comes to dating. It has long been a joke that any gay man over the age of 30 is considered old.